Yo dont text me then not text me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my shit smells like andre
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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