i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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