I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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