Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I've blown a few things in my day
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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