You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
