The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
