I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
