bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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