Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
