Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
