It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
