Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He kissed a someone with a penis
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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