i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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