U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
