I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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