I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
