Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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