Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
