I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Holy sore nipples Batman
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
