mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
