Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
