hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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