im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
