Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
