I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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