then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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