is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
