i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize