You made me cry and you don't even care
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
