Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
you never un-have a 4some
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
