I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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