At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
