drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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