walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize