Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
