they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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