There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
