i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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