how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
