if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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