WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize