Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
