Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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