Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
