i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
