when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
