You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You're like the curious george of whores
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize