ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize