This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
