I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
