i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
