i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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