my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
