maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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