Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
