I'm drive I can fine osifer
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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