i don't plan on having that self control this summer
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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