I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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