Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
