I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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