i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
