I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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