I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
