First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I have post one night stand depression
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