I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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