Where are you?
In a non slutty way
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
